


the aftermath

by adiwriting



Series: Heartbeat [9]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, a little splash of Liz and Arturo, max and michael being brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29909163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiwriting/pseuds/adiwriting
Summary: After Michael tells Alex his secret, he goes to the Crashdown to see Nova and Max.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Heartbeat [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178315
Comments: 27
Kudos: 110





	the aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> A little look into Michael's headspace before we see Alex and Nova spending time together.

Michael pulls up behind Max’s Jeep and parks his car on the street outside of the Crashdown. He’s not remotely surprised that this is where Max had taken her when he’d picked her up from Sanders. It’s where Nova is always asking to go these days, especially since she’d met Liz a few days ago and decided that she was the coolest person on the planet because she could answer all of Nova’s science questions and was an alien princess herself — aka a Crashdown waitress. 

Michael looks at himself in the mirror. He’s surprised to find that he looks remotely put together. He doesn’t feel put together. In fact, he feels like his heart is shattered in a million pieces. 

He’s happy that Alex knows. Not overly thrilled with how he found out, but he’s happy that he knows. He’s glad there are no more secrets between them. He’s glad that Alex knows the truth about Nova and that he’s willing to have a relationship with her. It’s great. It’s wonderful. Truly. 

It’s just… Alex doesn’t want anything to do with  _ him _ and it’s hard. Even if logically he knows that it’s natural for Alex to be upset and want space after finding out that Michael kept their daughter from him, it sucks. He’s devastated.

Not that he’s what matters. He’s not. What matters is Nova. 

He gets out of the car and walks to the diner, immediately spotting Nova at the counter with Liz, both of their heads bent over, working on something he can’t see. Neither of them look up when he enters, lost in their own little world. 

He sees a hand moving out of the corner of his eye and looks over to see Max waving him over.

“What’s going on over there?” Michael asks as he sits down across from Max at the booth. 

“Nova was asking Liz questions about DNA so they ran off to go do something science-y. I was told to stay here and guard her milkshake when it came,” Max explains with a fond smile. 

“You should add that to your resume,” Michael teases. “Official milkshake guard.” 

Max smiles like he’d do so proudly. The two of them might not always see eye to eye on everything, but Michael has always appreciated how deeply Max loves Nova. 

“I think Nova might love Liz more than you,” Michael says. 

“Well the feeling is mutual,” he says. “I’m not sure you’ll get Nova back from Liz.” 

They both watch as Nova’s face lights up as Liz explains something to her as she points at little pieces of candy. 

“She seems to be doing better?” Michael asks, wondering how things have gone since Max picked her up. When he’d left her, she’d been a mess. 

“I think being here has helped. More positive emotions and all,” he explains. “She was pretty upset when I got her.” 

Michael looks down and picks at a gash in the table, trying not to remember how hurt Nova had looked when he’d told her that he’d needed to go talk to Alex and she couldn’t come. 

“So… Nova’s dad?” Max asks tentatively. 

Michael sits back and crosses his arms defensively, preparing himself for a lecture. “I didn’t plan for it.” 

“I wasn’t… hey,” Max says, patiently waiting until Michael looks up at him. “I’m hardly in a position to judge right now. I just want to know that you’re okay.” 

Michael sighs and slumps against his seat as his mind replays the whole awful conversation with Alex. 

“I don’t know how Nova knew, she just did,” he says. 

He missed the first part of whatever happened between Nova and Alex. He only came out when he heard Sanders yell Nova’s name and heard Nova calling Alex Daddy. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about telling Alex, he’d planned on doing it, just not like that. He had hoped to keep Nova out of it until Alex had time to adjust to the news. 

“I didn’t plan for him to be there,” Michael continues. “But he showed up and Nova knew he was her dad and everything hit the fan before I could do anything to stop it.” 

Max is sympathetic, which is new. It’s hardly the first time they’ve talked about telling Nova’s dad before. Previously, Max had always been very firmly against telling anyone, but clearly after everything that happened with Liz, he’d changed his mind. 

“Alex Manes?” Max asks. 

Michael bites his lips, trying to read Max’s expression. He’d never told him who Nova’s dad was, despite Max asking numerous times. 

“Sanders told me when I picked Nova up,” Max says. “He was pretty pissed off actually.” 

Michael shakes his head, unsure why Sanders has any room to be upset. It’s not like the old man has ever been that overly protective. 

“I didn’t know,” Max says. “About you and Alex? But… It’s been going on since high school, hasn’t it?” 

Michael shrugs, not really wanting to talk about it. 

“How’d he take it?” Max asks. 

“He said he wouldn't tell anyone,” he says, because he assumes it’s what Max is really asking. It’s all Michael had cared about when Max had told Liz. 

“But?” 

“But he’s pissed,” Michael says. “He thinks I should have told him earlier.” 

Max looks down and stares at his hands, his expression guilty. “Michael, listen—” 

“No, I don’t want to hear it,” he says, holding his hand up before Max can apologize and take this all on himself. “I had my own reasons for not telling him earlier, it wasn’t just you.” 

Max nods his head, but doesn’t look overly convinced. 

“When you told Liz and said that she was fine with it… It was just that easy?” he asks, curious. Because Michael had been so hopeful that things would work out once he knew that they’d worked out for Max. He’d always thought that telling Alex would be the hardest thing in the world, but when Liz took it well Michael started to hope that Alex would too… But that was stupid. Clearly. 

“I wouldn’t call it easy, but it wasn’t bad, no,” Max says, leaning forward so that he can whisper. “But the circumstances were pretty different. I had just saved her life and we didn’t have a kid together.”

Michael snorts, bitterly. “Yeah.” 

“Is he gonna be okay? Do we…” Max looks around the diner to make sure that nobody is listening in before he says, even quieter than before, “Do we have to worry about him?” 

“I don’t think so,” he says, shaking his head. “He said he just needs time.” 

Then tension in Max’s shoulders loosens as he sits back. “Makes sense.” 

“I guess,” he says, returning to picking at the gash in the table. 

“I’m sorry, Michael.” 

“It’s fine,” he says, unsure who he’s trying to convince more. “He’s actually coming over tomorrow to spend time with Nova which is good. That’s the important part, right? That he loves Nova.” 

“Yeah...” 

Michael can tell he wants to say more. “But?” 

“But it’s okay if you were hoping for more than just him having a relationship with Nova,” Max says. 

Michael turns to look out the window as he wills his heart not to break any further at Max’s words. “It doesn’t matter what I want.” 

Max looks like he’s about to argue when Nova comes racing over to the table to show Michael the DNA model she’d made out of candy and toothpicks. The antenna on her head are bouncing around like crazy. “Daddy, wook!” 

He picks up the model to inspect it, making sure to ohh and ahh appropriately and wear his best ‘impressed’ face. “You made a double helix.” 

“Is a DNA,” she explains as she crawls into his lap without waiting for an invitation. He can’t help but smile and help her up before she accidentally knees him in the balls as she tends to do. 

Max goes to steal a piece of candy off of her model but Nova blocks his hand while laughing. “No! Unca Max! You can’t eat it! It a DNA! It a intuction for wife!” 

“That’s right,” Liz says, moving to sit down next to Max. “DNA contain all the instructions for organisms to develop.” 

“Oh well, I’m sorry then,” Max says, looking serious and making a big show of pulling his hand away. 

“Your daughter is a genius,” Liz tells him and he smiles at that. Even though he knows it to be true, it’s still always nice to hear other people acknowledge her brilliance. 

Nova turns around on his lap so that she’s facing him and sets her little hands against his chest as she plays with the buttons on his shirt. Her voice is quiet but clearly full of hope when she says, “Ottah daddy?” 

“He went home, but he’s planning on coming to see you in the morning,” he explains as enthusiastically as he can manage, but her face still falls. What’s left of his heart twists painfully and he reaches out to run comforting hands up and down her back. 

“He no wike me,” she says, her eyes downcast. 

Michael shakes his head, putting a finger under her chin to force her to look at him. “That’s not true.” 

Nova nods. “I could feel it.” 

The sharp edges of his broken heart cut at his insides thinking of his little girl feeling unwanted. He knows that feeling well and he would never wish it on her. 

“That’s not…” he starts to say before trailing off. “I promise you that your other daddy was just surprised. Anything that you felt was not about you. He is going to love you. He already does. He asked about seeing you tomorrow.” 

Nova shrugs. “Okay.” 

He can tell she doesn’t quite buy it. She puts her head on his shoulder and remains quiet. He hugs her closer to his body, willing all of his love and affection for her to seep out of him and into her so that she’ll feel loved once more. He looks up to see Max watching him carefully, tears in his eyes that he quickly blinks away. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Max tells them. 

Michael nods. It will be okay. For Nova, it will all be okay. She’ll see Alex in the morning and Alex will fall utterly and completely in love with her. And Nova will understand that he does want to know her. Her insecurities are temporary. Heartbreaking, but temporary. 

Arturo walks over to the table carrying three plates.

“Did my favorite alien princess order Nebula Nuggets?” he asks, setting a plate in front of her. 

Nova turns her head just enough to look at the plate and say, “Danks.” 

She doesn’t move though. She stays curled up into Michael. 

Arturo gives her a sad smile as he hands both Liz and Max their own plates. He then turns to Michael. “Can I get you anything?” 

Michael shakes his head. He couldn’t eat even if he tried. His stomach is still in knots. He tries to coax Nova to turn around and eat but she won’t move. Eventually, he settles for feeding her himself. 

Max and Liz keep the conversation going as they reminisce about memories from high school. He occasionally adds his own two cents, but mostly he’s content to sit there quietly with Nova. his mind replaying the conversation with Alex over and over, trying to figure out where he went wrong. What he should have done differently. How he could have made Alex accept the news more readily, like Liz had accepted Max. 

Perhaps Max is right. It’s hardly fair to compare the two. Max and Liz had never been together. And Max hadn’t kept a child from Liz. 

He looks down at Nova, trying to figure out if he could go back in time, if he would. He’d told Alex that he stood by his decision not to tell him. He’s not entirely sure that’s true. He does regret not being able to tell him sooner. Not being able to share in all of Nova’s firsts with Alex. But he won’t ever apologize for doing what he felt needed to be done to keep her safe. 

Michael loves Alex, but Nova is his world. 

“I love you, Nova,” he whispers into her hair when she finishes eating her last nugget. 

“I wof you too, Daddy,” she says. 

The words don’t completely heal his broken heart, but it’s a start. 


End file.
